Salvation: The Learning, Part II

[DeborahHedgehog]

I appreciate it a lot. It seems you're the only one reading, but as long as someone is, I'll keep writing

Chapter 4 is up. Starting to focus on more concise chapters, that work to start unearthing some new lore, and expose a few cogs turning.

Hey.....

I haven't been around much lately because I got busy again, but I am indeed very happy to see that you're still writing. I was beginning to wonder for a little while, there.

I still haven't had a chance yet to read your new stuff, but I had already been reading the next chapter in your old fic, and so I have another commentary for you here.


My thoughts on The Learning 1: Chapter The Age of Reason




For the most part, it was a very good chapter. Lots of awesome twists and turns and a great introduction to Knuckles as you portrayed him. Very interesting, indeed, wearing the skulls of his parents around his neck.

My only complaint about this chapter had to do with how you portrayed Lazaar. I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda bad, namely because he sounded, right down to a T exactly like Yoda from Star Wars. Now, perhaps you were just trying to stay true to how he was portrayed in Sat AM, but, it seemed like it went a bit too far. So, yeah, might need to fix that, sometime.

Other than that, I found myself getting sucked Right back into the story again, not really knowing which way I was gonna go. And it took me in many directions! I finally got introduced to the Brotherhood of Thaemael, and the beginning of the mystical potentials of Tails, and having the supercomputer, etc. Very interesting stuff there.

And, whoa, holy Crap, Naugus is Insane!!!! O O You turned him into a creature from Doom, or something! And then Sally! Whoa, you actually dared to..... I mean I can't believe what you Did!!!! She's..... well, I'm not gonna give away Too many spoilers to your potential readers, but Man!!! Unbelievable!!!

And then the very sad solemn part about Robotnik with Snivley. I must say that I really do like how in Your universe Mobius is an alien planet in it's own right that humans came to, just like in My universe!! I really dig how that element was alike in our writing, and that you Definitely don't go for it being future Earth! I like that a Lot.

I don't know if you noticed, yet, but I posted another chapter up in my fanfic, and have written one more, soon to be copied and posted sometime.

If you'd like some more recognition for your writing, maybe I can help you out, and promote your fic on FB or something, if that's alright with you. You definitely do deserve a wider audience than just myself.

Anyway, that's all for now, until I have the chance to read your new stuff.


(Oh, and as a side, I just thought you should know that I've never been so terrified waiting for a response to a PM in my Life, and am really wishing that I didn't screw up Big Time, there. )

Anyway, wishing that you've been doing well. Take care, and Later.

[Elisto Dragonwings]

Hmm, reading all the comments, I get the feeling I should read this.

[Neon Black]

My only complaint about this chapter had to do with how you portrayed Lazaar. I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda bad, namely because he sounded, right down to a T exactly like Yoda from Star Wars. Now, perhaps you were just trying to stay true to how he was portrayed in Sat AM, but, it seemed like it went a bit too far. So, yeah, might need to fix that, sometime.

Yep, it sucked, frankly. It's interesting that you note that, because I actually wrote Lazar normally in that chapter -- then I read back and thought, 'Oh my god! That's going to appear so out of character to people!' - so I went through it and Yoda-ised all of his dialogue. In hindsight, I did go way overboard with it and the way he spoke in the "Super Sonic" episode of the series was pretty jarring to begin with. Ah well, you live and learn I guess.

Chapter 5 is up. Just a short one.

[DeborahHedgehog]

So, yeah, finally back and read the last part as you know!

Excellent job and look forward to reading more! Later! ;P

[DeborahHedgehog]

Hmm, reading all the comments, I get the feeling I should read this.

Please, do, Elisto! I promise you, it's definitely a fine jewel of writing, most certainly worth your while!

[Neon Black]

A new chapter is up. Only took me four months...

Here we witness a few of Nicole's old memories, political tensions are about to explode, and Tails spends a little time getting to know his new 'family'. This one's pretty big and there's a lot less shoegazing than the last chapter.

The Fait Accompli

[DeborahHedgehog]

I missed reading on your story I must admit!! I also must admit I'm beside myself with happiness to see you finally at it again, at least enough to finish hashing out the next chapter!

And don't worry, I know what it's like not having much time, (or just procrastinating too much) to get something done that you really, really want to do but life (or yourself):P just continually gets in the way and prevents you from being able to do much of Anything! I, myself haven't written on my own fic in quite a while, too, probably going on the same amount of time as yours, and I haven't even begun the next chapter yet!

But, I'd love to hear your feedback on what you think about the last 3 chapters I wrote whenever you feel so inclined to give it a proper once-over. I always appreciated it, and love to hear it as much as you said you did mine. So, here I go with some more feedback for you to chew over and enjoy as I share once more my reaction to your beautiful ongoing saga.


Very nice scene between Fiona and Tails on the hunt. I enjoyed immensely the atmosphere you continually succeed in pulling me into, and the beginnings of Fiona finally starting to 'let down her guard' and expose the real person behind the tough outer shell she conveyed in the beginning.

I'm fascinated at what's coming up for Sonic next time the story rolls back around to him learning how to mesh into the rough-and-tumble lifestyle of the Kitsune clan. Can't wait to read more on that.

As always, I love your style of writing and your incredible intuition inside every single character, even the original ones that are totally separate from the Sat AM continuity. Your universe blends quite well and you convey enough of the original characters' personalities blended with your own personal touch to create the perfect hybrid universe, as I felt I succeeded in doing with my own, thus far. Every word radiates the inside of the person writing it in one form or another, interpreting the unique beauty that is always present in a true form of written artistic inspiration.

In short, a real great piece of writing always shows through how natural and openly it expresses itself, and you have been pulling this off in your own work perfectly with no signs of slowing down, delayed and spaced out so it might be, or not.

Anyway, to continue my review, I was also moved solemnly by the continuation of the dire political situations facing Queen Nicole, and the decisions they were leading her into. I found myself longing to hear more memories revealed of her past as a computer.....and as something more...

And of course, I always enjoyed how you conveyed the relationship between Antoine and Bunnie, and your inclusion of Knuckles in the universe and portrayed how his personality in the series may have been rather well, if not a little dark and grave.

As I have always felt, I continue to look forward to reading more, despite my shameful procrastination towards finishing your first story (which I still will, no worries! ) Whenever I do manage to get around to reading your work, it has always been more than worth the wait, and I do wish that you still share this sentiment towards my own writing. In any case, I am always lifted up to read your new writing, I always feel a connection and deep sense of warmth through reading it, regardless of the content. Simply put, I am able to, once again, soak up yet another set of complex subconscious anecdotes that make up You.

Take care, great job, and as always, I really look forward to continuing to read this. Thank you for sharing once more. Later.

[Neon Black]

This SatAM fanfic is... BACK FROM THE DEAD!!!!!!!~ONE



Two new chapters are up.

Chapter 7: Breaking The Broken
Chapter 8: The Best Morning Of My Life [The Second Interlude]

[Hakuzo NightFox]

I forgot all about this fanfic. I still need to sit down and read it >>;.... I have all the parts download just never got a chance to get to it.

[Neon Black]

One year later. Two new chapters.

Chapter 9: Hail and Farewell
Chapter 10: Divided We Stand

[SallyAcorntheDoctor]

I read the first one the other day before I started to read the second. Wow. I still fell empty knowing that sally is dead, and I really wish she didn't. On another note I found the first one to be well written and It kept my interest till the end. I can hardly wait to read the second one.

[SallyAcorntheDoctor]

I really think you should continue writing your story, not that I want to rush you. I just find this story really good. Things are picking up now with the sanctuary attack, and Sonic's brush with death where he saw Sally again! I find this all well writen and that it flows really well, and hope inslatments come sooner than a few months. I still wish Sally didn't die though and by some circumstance, comes back from the dead. Anyway I hope you have a good day.

Sally

[Neon Black]

Thank you so much, I'm really glad you've enjoyed it so far!!!

I've started writing more often now that I have a little time for it and I've got the drive back for it, though it always seems to take longer than I'd like... As far as Sally goes, writing her death back when I did was hard (Sally is my favourite character in the series), but I wanted to drive home the big loss and the big gain as Ben Hurst had envisioned in SatAM episodes - Robotnik and Naugus are the big wins, while Sally is the big loss - I've been trying in places just to reinforce the idea that even several years after the fact, it's still something that the characters are all trying to deal with, and also drive home the theme that people tend to live on in other ways after they pass.

You're about to hit the part where Sonic and Tails' prologue story and Nicole's main story start to finally intersect and cross over - I'll have it up soon, hopefully!

[SallyAcorntheDoctor]

Well I hope it comes soon, I cant wait. Thanks for responding.

[Neon Black]

Two new chapters up. Hoorj!