Use of Derogatory Slurs such as 'retard' etc.

[DeborahHedgehog]

I had been seeing this commercial on tv lately and when I watched it, it made me feel like crying, because it reminded me of my younger days when I used to get picked on for something similar,and here's the web site it was promoting:

http://www.r-word.org/

I looked it over one evening, and found that it is an organization for people to pledge to end the use of such derogatory slurs like 'retarded', as well as racist slurs too, but mostly focusing on slurs targeted towards people who have intellectual disabilities.

This looks like something really good to me, at least at first glance, because it made me remember how much pain kids at school used to cause me by calling me 'retarded' even though I don't actually have any intellectual disabilities, and it made me feel happy that somebody is finally standing up for these people and fighting to end the use of these painful slurs towards them or anyone in general.

But, on the other hand, I also have mixed feelings, too, because even I have caught myself laughing at jokes with cheap-shot humor at someone elses expense, (The 'fat jokes' on The Nutty Professor for example). I also think that if a said person with some 'defect' like that is in a close circle with his friends, and they all understand that he's okay with it, then it might still be okay to use physical disability, mental disability and racial slurs as long as anybody it could target is alright with it and going along with it and can laugh at themselves in good humour, of course, not self-destructive humor.

So, overall, this looks like a good idea to me, but I don't know if it would be so good if they started trying to just go so far as to 'wash everyone's mouths out' for the sake of being totally politically correct. I don't know if they are aiming for that, or if it is simply a way to support people who have always been targeted as victims of derogatory slurs.

What is everyone else's opinion on this?

[Spectre907]

More censorship on what people say.
With this big PC-ification, things seem to quickly be becoming "you're free to say whatever you wish to say, provided we (government) are ok with it"
People do have the right to express themselves freely. They do NOT have the right to waltz through life and never be offended, yet it seems people get that backwards more and more.

You can deal with teasing and mockery by growing a thicker skin, like every kid did; you can't toughen up past oppressive censorship

[roxannihilation]

More censorship on what people say.
With this big PC-ification, things seem to quickly be becoming "you're free to say whatever you wish to say, provided we (government) are ok with it"
People do have the right to express themselves freely. They do NOT have the right to waltz through life and never be offended, yet it seems people get that backwards more and more.

You can deal with teasing and mockery by growing a thicker skin, like every kid did; you can't toughen up past oppressive censorship

As depressing as this is, it's undeniably true. If they don't call you one thing, they'll call you another. Some people just lack the social means of intellect to treat others with respect, and unfortunately, you can't force anyone to smarten up and hold their tongues and find other ways to express themselves. People resort to ad-hominems because they're too ignorant to be ethical. Especially if they're young-minded.

That being said, if I ever saw someone pick on a disabled individual, I'd probably deck them in the face.

[Mi-24 Hind V]

The only thing I find truly offensive is how easily some people are offended.

Offensive language changes as time goes on. It evolves much like an organism. What is offensive to one generation is not to the next. Thus, their entire goal is asinine.

What difference does it make if you're trying to express vile thoughts with vile language or with some kind of infantile baby talk?

[Elisto Dragonwings]

I don't understand why people call being PC censorship. It's not the government that decides these things are offensive, it's the people being offended. And I think they have a right to say they're offended and insist people not treat them that way.

I also don't understand why people say to just deal with being offended. Why would you knowingly say something offensive? Of course if you're angry and trying to offend someone, obviously you'll be offensive, but you wouldn't tell others to "grow a thicker skin" because your point is to hurt them. So I have to assume saying "grow a thicker skin" is a way to say "I want to say what I want and if it unintentionally hurts you, that's not my problem". And THAT is a problem because it suggests you don't respect the other person enough to treat them civilly. Freedom of speech may mean you're free to be a jerk, but it doesn't mean you're free from the social consequences or give you the right to dictate how others should feel.

Example: referring to people by terms they don't refer to themselves by, like Southerners calling me a "yankee". Some people find this offense, some don't; I do. It's not a term anyone from the northeastern US uses and I don't like other people making up a name for me. The reason may be innocent enough (like a close friend of mine who doesn't mean it as an insult, it's just what she grew up using), but I don't like it, so she doesn't call me that. Is it really that hard to just not say things that are hurtful?

[Mi-24 Hind V]

I don't understand why people call being PC censorship.

Well, it most certainly isn't and there is a time and place for it. It just shouldn't be an expectation, in my opinion. It certainly belongs within the realm of business, where your goal is to make profit, and it belongs in the arena of government where you're serving the population. At least, to a degree.

It's not the government that decides these things are offensive, it's the people being offended. And I think they have a right to say they're offended and insist people not treat them that way.

They do, but they should probably exercise more vigilance and expect people to not do so.

I also don't understand why people say to just deal with being offended. Why would you knowingly say something offensive? Of course if you're angry and trying to offend someone, obviously you'll be offensive, but you wouldn't tell others to "grow a thicker skin" because your point is to hurt them. So I have to assume saying "grow a thicker skin" is a way to say "I want to say what I want and if it unintentionally hurts you, that's not my problem". And THAT is a problem because it suggests you don't respect the other person enough to treat them civilly. Freedom of speech may mean you're free to be a jerk, but it doesn't mean you're free from the social consequences or give you the right to dictate how others should feel.

Being honest or truthful can be offensive. I would absolutely agree with the last sentence, as well. But, I don't think anyone saying "grow" a thicker hide is really trying to dictate how people feel. I don't think it's possible to not be offended when Limbaugh says something idiotic or when the WBC is out in public, proving themselves to be the worthless buckets of bovine excrement the are, but there's no point in crying out to them "stop offending me!"

It's natural to be offended at extremism and sweeping generalizations, but don't keep those around you walking on egg shells.

Example: referring to people by terms they don't refer to themselves by, like Southerners calling me a "yankee". Some people find this offense, some don't; I do. It's not a term anyone from the northeastern US uses and I don't like other people making up a name for me. The reason may be innocent enough (like a close friend of mine who doesn't mean it as an insult, it's just what she grew up using), but I don't like it, so she doesn't call me that. Is it really that hard to just not say things that are hurtful?

Honestly, I'd wear the title of "yankee" with pride. Damn straight I'm a yankee. My ancestors didn't initiate a bloody Civil War over "states rights" when they really wanted to keep slaves, valuing profit over human life.

However, how would I know (prior to your statement) that you wouldn't appreciate being called a yankee? There isn't a way for me to know that's a phrase that offends you to any degree, so should I really approach you with:

"Hello, I'd like to talk, so provide a list of terms you might find offensive."

[Elisto Dragonwings]

No, of course someone wouldn't know beforehand I find it offensive, I wouldn't expect them to. Although I do personally feel that referring to a group by a name you made up for them isn't generally a nice thing to do. (I may be from NYC, but I had no ancestors in the country until after 1900, so applying a term that relates to the Civil War is a big and incorrect assumption for me). The problem is, some people continue to do it anyway, even with more information. If I unintentionally said something someone found offensive, I wouldn't say it again, not get angry at them for being offended as some people seem to do.

So, yeah, I'm not talking about intentionally offending people, like Limbaugh does. I think the other, bigger, part of this that I didn't talk about before is what Deborah brought up in the first place, using a term that refers to one group as an insult to others. Which is sort of my feeling the the "Yankee" thing. You're then not only insulting the intended target, but the people the term originally referred to as well, by treating that term is negative. Ex: "That's gay," or "you're retarded" or even "you're such a blond". You've taken a word that originally simply described a group of people or a characteristic of them and treated it as an insult. I think they have every right to be offended, and when I think of political correctness, this indirect offensiveness is really what I think of.

I agree that some people are easily offended and what is considered offensive is constantly changing. I just don't think that means people shouldn't even try, or get angry about PC-ness.

[Spectre907]

/sigh. Seriously? People can't handle being called names?
There's a lot more important things to worry about in life. If I get insulted, boo hoo, I shrug it off and A) continue to go about my business and b) not give a single solitary crap if someone feels the need to play the name game. Who cares?

The only time I'll get edged over something such as that is racism (this applies to the current "it's not racist if the target is white people bs that is currently in style as well. Also don't even deny it, you know that's how it is now) etc

[Mi-24 Hind V]

No, of course someone wouldn't know beforehand I find it offensive, I wouldn't expect them to. Although I do personally feel that referring to a group by a name you made up for them isn't generally a nice thing to do.

And, I would agree, it absolutely isn't.

(I may be from NYC, but I had no ancestors in the country until after 1900, so applying a term that relates to the Civil War is a big and incorrect assumption for me). The problem is, some people continue to do it anyway, even with more information. If I unintentionally said something someone found offensive, I wouldn't say it again, not get angry at them for being offended as some people seem to do.

I'd be more curious. I'd want to know why they find said term "offensive." Then again, I'm a very inquisitive individual.

Ex: "That's gay," or "you're retarded" or even "you're such a blond". You've taken a word that originally simply described a group of people or a characteristic of them and treated it as an insult. I think they have every right to be offended, and when I think of political correctness, this indirect offensiveness is really what I think of.

That's the part I find interesting, especially when the term "gay" is used as an epithet. I can see why they would find the term demeaning as it's been used to describe events and things that are unfavorable. However, the few homosexuals I've known used it, themselves, and in the same manner.

I agree that some people are easily offended and what is considered offensive is constantly changing. I just don't think that means people shouldn't even try, or get angry about PC-ness.

I find those crying about political correctness are often too lazy or slow to actually develop a decent counter point in a discussion.

[Neon Black]

Part of my job involves dealing regularly with people who are intellectually disabled; when you're in regular contact with these sorts you approach things differently to varying degrees compared to most. I don't think there's anything wrong with the word 'retard' - it's got a negative connotation about it these days which it didn't used to have. Its main use has gone from a descriptor for intellectual disability and more to a generic insult (interestingly, the original name of the place I work at was called 'Hostels for the Mentally Retarded' back in the 70s). You'll never hear me calling someone with an ID a retard and you'll never hear me call a gay person a faggot. The implication is that their difference is something that they should be ashamed of, and that's incorrect.

Even if you were somehow able to eliminate words like this from everyday lexicon it won't really get rid of the main problem -- some people are just arseholes. Even in the ultra-PC world of business and politics there's absolutely no lesser degree of animosity among people than outside of it; whether it's delivered in a passive-aggressive manner or administered as flat-out verbal abuse, an insult is still an insult. Very little of what we say is actually expressed in words. The vast majority of it comes across in tone and gesture.

There's not much to be done but just grow thick skin and be able to have a bit of a laugh at yourself from time to time. If you're secure enough in who and what you are, you'll very rarely find yourself getting really offended at anything, no matter what people call you or how they act towards you.

[Elisto Dragonwings]

There's not much to be done but just grow thick skin and be able to have a bit of a laugh at yourself from time to time. If you're secure enough in who and what you are, you'll very rarely find yourself getting really offended at anything, no matter what people call you or how they act towards you.

Yeah, see, Neon, when you put it that way, I generally agree.

The phrase "grow a thicker skin" really bugs me normally because the people I hear use it most often have been people who knowingly insult someone, and then say that as a response when the person they offended speaks up; they've used it as a way to defend their own behavior and continue to be jerks.

Spectre, I think you may have misread my post.

[Hyram the Hedgehog]

The phrase "grow a thicker skin" really bugs me normally because the people I hear use it most often have been people who knowingly insult someone, and then say that as a response when the person they offended speaks up; they've used it as a way to defend their own behavior and continue to be jerks.

then you can tell them "If you can carry being a jerk, carry the consequences." (dunno If understandable by jerks, I cannot be more dull)

On School years I happily delivered gutbuster punches to whoever insulted or offended me, during 12 years I hadn't to develop any skin at all, consequences, now I am a loner... That sucks big time, I had been a jerk, I paid the price.

I read some time ago a tweet by Pauley Perrette about she refering to people with Achondroplasia like "little people" instead of "midgets", well, both words seem equal offensive to me.

[Paycheck]

I don't like to offend people at all, and that makes me sort of shy around people, even if I'm somewhat extroverted. I'm always careful about how I might be offending someone, because I really do wish them well, even if their sense of humor could be different (and even if what I may say isn't humorous at all).

[InvaderMeer]

I have to admit, it used to bother me when people used "retard" as an insult because I myself am autistic...but eventually it didn't bother me quite so much anymore. I've never really been called "retarded" to my face. Most people refuse to believe that I am autistic because I am supposedly oh so, "high functioning". Apparently some people use "autistic" as an insult now.
I notice "gay" and "fetish" are overused words as well. "Gay" is also used for stupid. I want to be a veterinarian in the future and a lot of my art work revolved around that. When I tried to submit some of them to a club on Deviant Art, they were accused of being "fetishy". The English language is evolving. What bothers me though, is when people shorten words such as saying "legit" as opposed to "legitimate" or "delish" instead of "delicious". Is it really going to kill them to say another syllable? What scares me is that the spell check on my version of Microsoft word actually recognizes the shortened forms of those words and I never told it too.

[Ze Nuvakat]

Yeah, I'm autistic, and I hate it when people use even the term "special" as a euphemism for the R-word. Even my brother does that, and HE'S autistic. (Of course, he also makes fun of white people, and he's white himself. No wonder he has such a complex.)

I think that the best way to talk is the way the Bible puts it: "Encourage one another, and build each other up." (can't remember the reference off the top of my head, but I memorized that verse loooooooong ago from a Steve Green video. Ironically, sometimes I completely go against it, and I always feel rightfully guilty afterwards. I reap what I sow, I guess.)